Immutability and flux; The story of God and His people [PART ONE]

Immutability and flux; The story of God and His people

immutable |iˈmyoōtəbəl|
adjective
unchanging over time or unable to be changed : an immutable fact.

flux |fləks|
noun
1 the action or process of flowing or flowing out : the flux of men and women moving back and forth | a localized flux of calcium into the cell.
2 continuous change : the whole political system is in a state of flux.

I’ve been quiet in 2010 and, with this article, I’d like to tell you why. Over the last four years, more has happened in my life than the decade before. I’m sure you feel the same. I’d like to mention that God used death and difficulty to germinate seeds of life and overcoming.
It changed me. Most of this document is a repentance, or confession or a change of mind. It’s the stuff of a merciful God. I would like to write about four significant changes that followed a “return” to the person of God. I will structure it as five sequential points, since it reflects the process of what, I believe, happened when an unchanging God meets and changes people.

To be on the side of truth does not mean that truth is ever on our side. Truth invites us to walk away from hype and spin decisively, be found out regardlessly, embrace everything as it is, courageously, and be changed by truth, tiresomely. Truth has found me out. I am an exaggerator, a story teller and an assumptioner, but by the grace of God. By God’s cunning use of my various ignorances and irritations, overconfidence and conviction, He has led me to this wonderful place (called by different names); Sonship, Marriage, Fatherhood, Leader, Pretoria, Friendship, Thinking spot, Refinery, Valley, Home, 3ci… Take your pick.

It is here in Pretoria, in a measure of withdrawal and necessary isolation, that I have found space and thoughtfulness, to wait on the Holy Spirit and digest the word. It is a mere beginning, and yet, through friends and enemies, but mostly friends, through blessings and hardship, but mostly hardship, so much became clearer. I am very privileged to be surrounded by thinking believers and believing thinkers, by bold friends who stick closer than brothers and, in particular, by a blessed relationship with Nick Davis who went before me in many ways, pertaining to the things I want to write about here. Everyone has their thoughts and live according to them in broad daylight. We see it in one another’s tweets, programs, announcements, projects, unquestioned presuppositions, friends, sermon titles, jobs and households. And since life has meaning, and everything done while in the body will be judged, I feel obliged to come out of my suburban town and state some of our beliefs and markers we have found on our journey with God. (I sound like Chris Wienand there…) You may think “obliged” is too strong a word, but in light of the changes in our thinking, it would be better to make things plain and admit some of God’s boundary lines. Let me give two reasons for my sense of obligation. First, speaking follows belief. It is most natural and certainly theological. (2 Cor 4:13) Second, we owe it to our relationships, new and old. True relationships enjoy mutuality and know one another’s thoughts. It is a sad day when friendships are threatened by truth. So, here are some of our true thoughts, which I will write in first person, even though they came about through the insights of many others.

Wanting God for God himself.

It is so easy to run to the Father for His promises, to Jesus for His blood or to the Holy Spirit for His power, while the gospel is primarily about a grand reconciliation, us to God.
The benefits of God are enormous. He heals sickness. He gives nations as inheritance. He showers blessing. He grants wisdom. He forgives my sin. The list of benefits is endless and it is exactly because of these staggering benefits that we get distracted, like a lover who receives a diamond and becomes more infatuated with the diamond than the giver.
Christianity is personal. God is personable and easy to live with (Tozer). Although He is incomprehensible, He is knowable, because of His own self-disclosure. (The doctrine of God, Bavinck)
He is our very great reward. (Gen 15)
He is to be sought out, like the Shulamite woman in Song of Songs were looking for her lover.
The desperation of Psalm 27 is the standard Christian longing, not for nations, not for power, not for impact, but to be impacted, to behold God and gaze upon His beauty all the days of my life.
The cry of Paul the apostle was to know Him more, pressing on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Phil 3) It is so person specific.
In Revelation 21, we read how we are the new Jerusalem, the dwelling place of God and how God dwells with His people. It is ultimate and intimate, and since it describes the consummation of all ages, it denounces all other priorities as means to this end, whether evangelism, reaching the poor, signs and wonders, biblical rightness or the obedience of faith. God is our end, just as He was our beginning. He is our satisfaction, not the streets of gold. He is our rest, not the absence of work. Someone said that he’d rather take hell with Jesus than a heaven without Him. God is who makes heaven heaven.

I am lovesick again.

My lovesickness has shaken up my priorities. Desiring God for God Himself set off a chain reaction of implications. I wanted to deal with everything that hindered my free access to God, and that of everyone I knew. This led to walking away from many structures and brokers.
Initially I thought that I hated structures and strategies in themselves, but I don’t. The only danger lies in the difficulty to really notice once they begin obscuring Christ. All structures start out as servants to a greater purpose, but time is not the friend of men’s inventions. Whether wineskins are old or new, they are only of value until they are empty. Their purpose of a wineskin is to be emptied, and there should be no shame in admitting to be spent. George Bernard Shaw said, “I want to be thoroughly used up when I die”. It should be glorious that a wineskin held its wine until it was offered at the appropriate time, but once it was poured out, the wineskin should be set aside. The greater problem with any of our wineskins, is that the wineskin assumes centrality over time, and then the model becomes the message. God is pushed out in the name of God, to the glory of God, with sincere intentions.
GK Chesterton once wrote that one should never take down a fence without understanding why it was put up in the first place. It is important to acknowledge what every vehicle was set up for, before dismantling it. If God was lost in the systems, it is not just walking away from the systems that brings Him back. It takes careful consideration to keep God front and center. Reactionism is just a new system. My hatred is not against systems altogether, but systems that assume to broker our direct access to God. My fury is not against strategies, but against those that persist beyond their expiry date, and so, takes away the desperation for the Holy Spirit’s immediate whisper. Any strategy can be of God, but all strategies and all vehicles have an expiry date that should be recognized.
In case I am sounding cryptic, let me say it this way. About two years ago, we untied ourselves from a structured movement, whose men are dear to us till this day. The aim was simple obedience to God, since we felt that He wanted us to wait on Him for our future strength and unfolding purpose. The movement allowed us to have this revelation and follow-through. However, other men and churches were just as obedient to stay and wait for their unfolding futures. God is the point, not system or anti-system. John Piper wrote that “life transcends form”. For me, that implies that we must act according to our deep convictions, so that we can pursue God with a clear conscience and a wild passion, whether we are inside “form” or outside “form”. God reigns, regardless. What remains for our glorious inheritance, is to allow Him to also rule our days and decisions, by placing Him first before all other things. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and wisdom is justified by her children (Luke 7:35). Are we closer to God than we were? Did we grow in maturity? Is love more evident? Is our faith more robust? May God’s mercy triumph, but by His grace we can say that it has been a profoundly joyful, Jesus-embodying trek. Spurgeon preached on “the great white throne”, and mentioned how no mutual encouragement or human congratulations will matter in that day, except for the great “well done” from the great white throne. Only one person’s commendation will matter in that moment. My guess is that lovers will outshine workers, and that is a note to self.
The freedom from upholding preexisting ideas turned my bible from a manual for life/ministry/church to the self-revelation of God. Now, I wanted to find God on His terms, rather than finding my arguments from scripture. To talk about God or gospel-centeredness, the poor or evangelism, is not enough. Preaching is not hitting the right topic, but encountering God. I believe it is possible to preach on the right topics and say the appropriate things, but still lack the direct confrontation with God. I am too desperate now. Preaching is not difficult, but impossible, and only in impossibility does it require faith. I understood God-centered preaching as preaching about God, but now see how sterile even that can become.

This is why gospel-centeredness is not enough, no matter how vogue or correct it sounds. The gospel makes sense against a backdrop of God’s all-ownership of all created things. It’s only if the original perfection, original intent and original beauty is seen, that the fall of man beckons the mega-question, “How can man be saved from this mess?” The gospel becomes urgent only in the life of an individual who relates to God intimately. Only once “the gospel” becomes “my gospel”, once it becomes tear-jerkingly personal and it arrests my actions, does it carry a ringing sound. The substance of the messenger’s life brings the content of the message to life.

Oh, for more God.

In one sense I had nothing to say, because words and concepts couldn’t capture what was happening inside. Also, none of it was for anyone else! Nick Davis speaks of “the spycam in the bedroom”, when referring to Christians flaunting their experiences. I hope all my tweeting and blogging will stay within its impersonal boundaries. Not too much should get out. Donald Trump believes in as much media exposure as possible, whether positive or negative. I don’t. Gentlemen still don’t kiss and tell.

Oh for more of you, God…

PART TWO will follow. My “return” to God had implications on preaching, on ministry, on understanding kingdom and church, on the vision for the future and many other things, which I’d like to write about… but not too much.